Bradford Pellet Biggers, 51, originally from Norwalk, Conn., blamed all his woes on his “new European style” bathing suit, according to the police affidavit.
It started Saturday at a Walt Disney World water park when, police say, he exposed himself to a 14-year-old girl.
A witness told police that he saw Biggers move a lawn chair and position it a few feet from the girl in a wave pool. Staring at her and trying to get her attention, the witness said, Biggers then started fondling himself.
When the witness – who happens to work in Missouri’s probation and parole sex offender unit – tried to get Biggers to stop, the man took off running and drove away in his convertible.
As the aptly named Biggers tried to make his escape from the park, a deputy saw him run a stop sign.
To make Biggers' problems, well bigger, he has a suspended license, police said.
Biggers claimed that his "european style" swimsuit was too tight and that the elastic leg band wasn’t properly adjusted, reported the Orlando Sentinel.