Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you troll Craigslist for a hot Congressman to date tonight. LET’S GO!
GRAMMY AWARDS – 8:00PM Sunday (CBS) It’s music’s biggest night, featuring performances from Lady Gaga (rumored to be paired with Muse), Katy Perry, Usher, Miranda Lambert, Eminem (with Dr. Dre!), Justin Bieber (BIEBER!!!!), Bruno Mars, and more. Eminem is favored to take home the majority of prizes this year, and if you’re asking yourself, “Hey, why isn’t Kanye West’s album nominated for anything? Didn’t most people agree he had the best album of the year?”, well you should know that Kanye wasn’t eligible for the award because the deadline for Grammy release dates was September 30th of last year, which is breathtakingly stupid. That means we’ll be here next year celebrating an album that’s over 16 months old. If the Grammys want to be relevant, they have to do a better job including relevant music. ANTICIPATION: VERY SMALL GRAMOPHONES!
BAFTA AWARDS – 8:00PM Sunday (BBC America) If you love awards shows but hate music (what kind of person are you?), then skip the Grammys and hit up the British Oscars, where “The King’s Speech” is expected to win a majority of the awards because it’s so terribly British. You’ll notice that American celebrities look 45% happier at the BAFTAs than they do at the normal Oscars. This is because drinking time in England is much earlier. ANTICIPATION: SNOOTY!
THE SUNSET LIMITED – 9:00PM Saturday (HBO) HBO’s newest original film pedigree out the wazoo: Directed by Tommy Lee Jones, starring Jones and Samuel L. Jackson, and based on a play by the legendary Cormac McCarthy. It’s like watching an Emmy being forged in real time. McCarthy’s play concerns a black man rescuing an ungrateful white man from committing suicide. Expect plenty of talk about death and Biblical allusions that will almost certainly fly over your head. ANTICIPATION: CLASSY!
20/20 – 10:00PM Tonight (ABC) “Wrong Turn: The Kati Kim Story,” in which a California family takes a wrong turn off an Oregon interstate during a bad storm and gets stranded in the wilderness for NINE DAYS. Nine days! How is that possible?! I’m never going to Oregon. No, thank you. ANTICIPATION: TERRIFYING!
BOB’S BURGERS – 8:30PM Sunday (FOX) This is my favorite new show of the season. No doubt about it. Now watch as FOX moves its time slot 439 times and then cancels it. ANTICIPATION: FUNNY!