Charlie Sheen lost New York.
The actor's "Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option" tour wrapped its opening night at Radio City a half-hour early, when Sheen ran out of tricks to calm a jeering crowd.
It didn't start out so bad. As in Cleveland, most fans welcomed the self-proclaimed warlock with a standing ovation. They didn't seem to mind he showed up a half-hour late.
Sheen walked on stage in a Yankee tee and cap to the tune of Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me To The Moon." He sat down opposite an unidentified interviewer, lit a cigarette and began by saying how much he loved New York and its hotels.
"Surprise, surprise. I'm not staying at the [explicative] Plaza," he said in reference to the scene of his infamous meltdown.
He kept the crowd amused with a series of crack and cocaine stories--like the one when he chatted up federal agents after exiting a flight with drugs stashed in his underwear.
When the first few lulls emerged in his unscripted Q&A, Sheen filled them with interjections like "winning!" and "who doesn't love Emilio," which the crowd humored with applause.
But hecklers began to voice their disapproval just 20 minutes in, when Sheen veered away from drug anecdotes and towards subjects maybe better suited for an "Inside the Actor's Studio" crowd: his earlier films and what it was like growing up with a famous father.
Sheen's admission that he admired his father's wealth and ability to attract hot women, weren't the sorts of truths ticket-buyers were hoping to hear.
He momentarily placated the audience by showing a small Yankee-sign tattoo on his upper arm, and "winning" inked onto his wrist. But those tricks couldn't fill the second half of his show, or stave off a Detroit-style reception. Soon, shouts of "boring" and "you suck" began to drown out what was happening on stage.
The interviewer resorted to seemingly juicier content. "What about your kids? Why don't you talk about your kids."
"I love my kids, more than words can express," Sheen said.
"Boring!" The crowd shouted, as some began to make for the exits.
The interviewer grasped for something else. "What about Denise?"
"Denise stole my dog," Sheen said, about his famous ex-wife, after quipping that he can't say much about her for legal reasons.
As more people filed out the door, Sheen's interviewer quickly cued up Sheen's self-parody YouTube video of his "20/20" spot and hustled the actor off the stage.
By the time the pair returned, not even a pair of "goddesses" (who said hello and walked off without any of the antics the crowd expected) could save the show.
After a single hour of what should have been a 90-minute performance, Sheen took a bow, and called it a night. He'll get a second chance at Radio City on Sunday, but it was clear many New Yorkers have already written him off.
"That was the biggest waste of $280 I've ever spent in my life," said Massimo Didonna of Staten Island, who had purchased two $140 tickets last month. "The best part was the YouTube video, and I could've watched that from home."
Jesse Gamar, from the Upper East Side, also gave Sheen's performance a thumbs-down, but didn't seem so regretful.
"We wanted to see a disaster and we got what we paid for."