tipping

Don't Feel Gratuity Guilt: Tips to Help You Know Who, How Much to Tip

As we see more and more digital checkout kiosks, expect to see more and more requests to tip. 

NBC Universal, Inc.

Transaction after transaction, it feels like you’re asked to tip everywhere these days.

The dawn of the digital kiosk has made adding a tipping selection at checkout so easy, even when a service may not be provided.

“When it comes to tipping, people are confused, they're frustrated,” said Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Texas.

Search TikTok and it’s easy to find folks posting about that fateful moment when an employee turns a kiosk towards the customer who feels the pressure to tip.

Gottsman says the kiosks give you options of tipping 20, 25, and sometimes 30%.

She says customers “feel like the transaction was not worth what they are suggesting you tip.”

Experts say this is creating so-called ‘tip fatigue’ and that tip fatigue is coming to a tipping point.

“If you don't want to pay, you have to say, ‘No, I don't want to pay.’ A lot of people feel guilty doing that,'" said Dipayan Biswas, Frank Harvey Endowed Professor of Marketing at University of South Florida in Tampa.

Biswas says these greedy gratuities are taking away from appropriately tipping people who don’t make minimum wage and rely on tips like restaurant workers and rideshare drivers too.

"This is something that worries me. A lot of companies in the greed trying to get more money from customers for tipping might actually adversely affect those people who rely on tips for their livelihood," Biswas said.

NBC CT Responds team followed around food delivery and rideshare driver Jennifer Strauss.

The West Hartford mom says it’s the perfect side hustle around her five kids’ schedules, but the unpredictability of the pay can be a tall order.

Will she get tipped? Or stiffed?

“It could be $8. It could be $4. It could be $12. It’s like playing roulette with delivery,” she said.

Toast is a point-of-sale system used in almost 80,000 restaurants across the United States.

The company says while it is seeing more people tip with a card or digital payment at those locations, it's also seeing the amount of each tip decrease at both quick-serve and full-service restaurants.

So, where does your tip make the most sense?

“I think that when we can, we should be generous, but we have to use our best judgment,” said Gottsman. “And not every transaction is going to require you to tip. Especially if you did not receive any kind of extended service.”

Gottsman says treat those digital kiosks at counters of coffee shops and other quick food options like an old-fashioned tip jar.

As for food delivery, she says tip the driver 15% and add more depending on weather, distance, and other factors too.

Get carry out or a to-go order at a restaurant?

She says tip 10 to 20% depending on the complexity of your order.

You can see her tip guide for many other circumstances here.

Consumer financial services company Bankrate suggests a 20% tip as a standard practice for all services and says shoppers should be aware that with inflation rising, low wage workers’ incomes aren’t necessarily keeping up with the cost of living.

So, for any service, if you can afford to give an extra buck or two it helps.

Like tipping someone making your coffee.

“That may mean being able to meet your rent payment that month. It could mean being able to buy groceries or pay your medical bills,” said Julie Langevin, with Workers United.

Langevin is a staff union organizer for Starbucks employees.

“I think we hear often, ‘Well, it's just making a cup of coffee.’ But it is so much more than that. It's eight hours standing with demanding customers who are always in a rush,” she said.

But don’t put any one’s job at risk by forcing a tip where it’s not allowed.

Stew Leonard’s, for example, doesn’t allow their workers to accept tips. Rather, the supermarkets have employee incentives instead.

“We pay higher than minimum wage to make sure our team members feel like they’re earning enough, and they don’t need the tips that they get paid right in their paychecks,” said Anthony Walentukonis, Stew Leonard’s Human Resource Manager.

This is a benefit Strauss doesn’t have as a delivery driver.

One hour of driving, two deliveries, and some heavy lifting too, Strauss made just under minimum wage.

“If you’re having someone else do your shopping and we’re bringing your food, it’s a convenience. And if you’re able to spend the money on that, you should be able to tip a little bit,” said Strauss.

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