Perfect Picks Tricks

Sign up for the Perfect Picks portion of the $100,000 Fantasy Challenge. Register now and pick who you think will be the top fantasy-scoring player at QB, RB, WR, and on Sunday Night Football. If you are right, you will automatically advance to the playoff round and have a chance at $100,000 Grand Prize. Sounds easy, right? Click here to play Perfect Picks.

The current first place team in the $100K Challenge, the "Gridiron Kings," is sitting pretty. We're only four weeks in and Gridiron Kings is already twenty-three points clear of everyone else in the game. So where does that leave the rest of us? Well, while Gridiron Kings is busy trying to storm into the $100K playoffs by making best-in-the-game $100K Challenge weekly picks, we should allocate all our considerable mental resources to discovering the perfect Perfect Picks strategy. Think about it: Gridiron Kings needs to be right each week, while we only need to correctly pick Perfect Picks once. Using this logic, I'd say we're already winning.

Here are three possible Perfect Picks strategies you can utilize:

Querulous Squirrel

When catching squirrels, you have two choices: you can hunt them or you can wait for them to come to you. Waiting for them to come to you might require more patience, but it also requires a lot less walking through the wilderness. How do I catch a squirrel, you ask? Simple. You can use what you know about squirrels against them: squirrels like nuts. So, place nuts in a trap and sit and wait.

Similarly, the top-scoring football players like to score touchdowns. They might not score touchdowns each week, but if you pick them each week, you don't have to try to chase around all those flukey one-week wonders and you stand a better chance at catching the top-scoring players when they do decide to score a touchdown. And yes, I just made an extremely tenuous analogy in which a football player was compared to a squirrel and scoring a touchdown was compared to searching for nuts. Currently, the top point-scoring players per week, on average, are Jay Cutler (24.1), Ronnie Brown (18.9), and Brandon Marshall (18.2). Incidentally, did you know that if you catch a squirrel in your attic and release it twenty-five miles away, there is a 1.1% chance it will find its way back to your attic? That's just nutty.

Wildcat Wildcard

Subscribing to this strategy, which is sometimes called the "Abra-ca-Favre" strategy, means you pick a player that everyone has counted out to have the best game of the week. For example, Gregg Rosenthal writes that former Harvard Crimson and current Bengal quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick might be the worst quarterback in the NFL. And he doesn't mean just the starters, he means every single quarterback that is on an NFL roster. While Gregg is probably right, it is also true that it is hard to be more counted out than that, and it is this characteristic of Fitzpatrick's that makes him so appealing as a Wildcat Wildcard. Other Wildcat Wildcard picks for this week include Matt Cassel, Mewelde Moore, and Ted Ginn.

Man Beast

Freakishly athletic players are the guys who are most likely to have a monster game. Who qualifies? Adrian Peterson (MN) can hold an 80-pound dumbbell in each hand and make a standing jump to the top of a 36-inch wooden box. Calvin Johnson has a 43-inch vertical when dumbbell-less. Drew Brees might be the best quarterback in the known universe.

For this week, I'm going to go with one Q. Squirrel (Cutler), one W. Wildcard (Moore), and one M. Beast (Ca. Johnson). Have a strategy of your own you'd like to share? Post it here in the thread I started in the official Rotoworld forums. Remember that the name of your Perfect Picks strategy should be two words long and one of the words should reference a mammal.

And now for some decidedly imperfect picks:

Quarterbacks

Brian Griese - Last week, Brett Favre (six touchdowns) proved it was easy being Gang Green (although, it should be noted that the Jets were wearing their Rams look-alike jerseys). Meanwhile, it was considerably less easy to be Brian Griese (3 interceptions). This week, however, the Denver defense-which made the Kansas City offense look good last week-should make it considerably easier to be Griese(er).

Philip Rivers - The only real debate about this Rivers pick is whether his parents should have spelled his first name with one "l" or two (they got it right). There is a confluence of three factors that make Rivers an unde-Nile-able good pick: first, the hype surrounding Rivers has gone from a trickle to a gush and that must mean he is good; second, the toe attached to LaDainian Tomlinson's foot has gone from hurting bigtime to hurting only minorly; and third, Antonio Gates' injuries seem mostly healed.

Hold me accountable for my picks and vote on the QB picks from last week.

Running Backs

Matt Forte - There's a lot to like about Forte. He's an all-around back who can catch passes and he's one of only a handful of backs not in a committee. Despite playing pretty well so far this year, Forte doesn't quite get the hype that some of the other young running backs receive. Maybe people are scared off by the Chicago Bears' Cedric Benson RB fiasco of 2007 (incidentally, the Cedric Benson fiasco of 2008 debuts this week). In any case, this could be the week that helps increase the Forte fantasy chatter, as he's playing Detroit, which is giving up 207.7 rushing yards a game, worst in the NFL.

Jonathan Stewart - Apparently it is trendy to give Jesus-related nicknames to NFL running backs. In this spirit, it is possible that Jonathan Creon Stewart plays more like someone who goes by the name JC Stewart in his game against KC this week.

Another vote, this one on the RB picks from last week.

Wide Receivers

Reggie Wayne - Inevitably, there reaches that point in the $100K Challenge season where it begins to feel like all the dependable wide receivers have already been picked. We haven't quite reached this stage yet, but we will sooner than usual this year because certain previously dependable wide receivers are too busy cursing Matt Cassel under their breath to catch the passes that are thrown their way. Wayne makes a good play against Houston.

Chris Chambers - Chambers is a risky pick because he only has eight catches through four games, but perhaps he'll have extra incentive playing against Miami, his former team.

Greg Jennings - Jennings is a "riser" according to Mark St. Amant's Fantasy Man-Crush Index (FM-CI). He's also a "riser" in the private man-crush index in my heart. He plays Atlanta and everything is perfect for his selection, except for the fact that Aaron Rodgers is iffy with a sprained shoulder and Matt Flynn has yet to inspire confidence. So, resist the urge to use Jennings. In Jennings' stead, you could go with Domenik Hixon against Seattle. With Plaxico Burress suspended, Hixon could have a breakout game. Not buying it? You could roll the dice with Chansi Stuckey against the Bengals. Even riskier, you say? Okay, fine. Play it safe and go with Steve Smith (the Carolina one) against Kansas City.

Brring. Who is it? A vote on the WR picks from last week.

Tight Ends

Antonio Gates - If you've been waiting for Gates to prove that he's at least mostly healthy before starting him, his five catch, 58-yard, one touchdown showing in Week 4 could mean that your wait is over. Feel free to step through this door of opportunity and unlock Gates from your pick bench.

Anthony Fasano - Fasano leads Miami in all receiving categories. That's the good news. The bad news is that he's gone catchless in 33% of his 2008 NFL football games. More bad news: he, apparently, can only catch fourteen passes in a season, which leaves him with a ceiling of three catches in Week 5. The best news: San Diego's defense had decided not to cover tight ends this year.

Only gave one TE pick last week. You can vote on it if you want.

Defenses

Carolina Panthers - With St. Louis on a bye, the Chiefs become the team that you should pick on. Yes, those same Chiefs that won their game last week. Move along, now. Don't linger on this alleged "fact."

Yup, you guess it. A vote on the defense picks from last week.

Kickers

John Kasay - Kasay's Panthers play Kansas City this week. Kasay and KC are homophones.

If you are excited about last week's kicker picks, vote here.

The Sunday Night Football (SNF) Bonus Player (Pittsburgh vs. Jacksonville)

Ben Roethlisberger - To figure out the best SNF bonus pick, let's use process of elimination, or POE (speaking of which, I wonder if Dolphin fans like this song). Maurice Jones-Drew has only gotten more than ten touches once this season and Fred Taylor is allergic to touchdowns and has a groin made entirely of red tissue paper. Matt Jones is no better than a WR3 at this point. Hines Ward and Santonio Holms rarely have a good game on the same day, and so picking one of them forces you to play a guessing game. Willie Parker is out with an injury, Rashard Mendenhall is out for the season, Carey Davis will probably miss the game with a sprained ankle, and fourth-stringer Mewelde Moore might be sharing carries with Najeh Davenport or some dude from the practice squad. David Garrard has been having a tough year so far and is on pace for some pretty ugly numbers. Sure, he'll probably improve, but why take a risk on him now?

And Big Ben has a hand injury that was clearly giving him issues in his Week 4 game.

And that is why you can confidently pick Big Ben this week.

Sign up for the Perfect Picks portion of the $100,000 Fantasy Challenge. Register now and pick who you think will be the top fantasy-scoring player at QB, RB, WR, and on Sunday Night Football. If you are right, you will automatically advance to the playoff round and have a chance at $100,000 Grand Prize. Sounds easy, right? Click here to play Perfect Picks.

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