Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, e-mail a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installments.
Puck Buddy Lindsay B. sent over this image from Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals at the Joe, as did Ed P., who writes:
My section couldn't figure out this one. Here are some Pens fans celebrating their goal in Game 1. Nobody near me knew what Poker Chub means. Is it a jersey foul if no one understands the reference? I initially guessed it was some inside joke between/amongst friends. I am too tired to comb the corners of the Internets tonight, but I do see one reference out there to a poker chub, which sounds simply like, ummm... having excitement over a good hand in poker. Urban Dictionary leads me to believe you are supposed to flip it around, and read it as "chub poker," a euphemism for a man who, uh, prefers hearty women.
Yeah, so, we're pretty speechless either way. Let it be known that the Pittsburgh Penguins have in fact had a No. 68 and three players who wore No. 71, but never a No. 70. Until Pa-Pa-Pa-Poker Chub came along.
Coming up, we have several more Penguins and Detroit Red Wings-related Jersey Fouls; a creative if premature San Jose Sharks Foul; a rocking good Chicago Blackhawks sweater; and a Marian Hossa Protest Jersey that is, without question, one of the strangest sights we've seen in the Finals.
And here ... we ... go.
The Pensblog had this one recently, and Puck Buddy Cory K. sent it our way. It's such a rudimentary Foul, and the jersey wearer shares blame with the bat-eyed doofus that misspelled the sweater while making it. What really bugs us is that it's like a smack at Jordan Staal's career, too. Which, although fairly accurate, is still insulting.
We may have touched on this before in a previous edition, but for clarity's sake: Don't let your kid dress in goalie equipment and then allow him to enter society with a non-goalie jersey. Look, we all know that putting your goalie kid in a Sidney Crosby jersey rather than a Marc-Andre Fleury jersey gives you hope that he may be able to actually handle the puck later in life. But this is like a baseball fan dressing in full catcher's gear and walking around in a CC Sabathia jersey.
Oh, we see what you're doing here, Red Wings fan. Trying to dazzle us with sparkly things so we're distracted from the garish display that is your Stanley Cups jersey. Tugging on our heartstrings with the Vladimir Konstantinov tribute "Believe" on the second Cup.
Well it won't work, sir, because ... it's ... so ... shiny ... (drool)
Taken at Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final by Moe R.
The great Jefflered from the Faceoff Boards captured this image of the TV earlier in the Cup Final, and it's one that baffled our live blog readership. We recall someone saying that it was a practice jersey of some sort, but here's the point: You're a Detroit Red Wings fan. If someone Doc Brown'd it back in time and made it so the Chicago Blackhawks' jersey was never invented, the Winged Wheel would be the greatest sweater in hockey.
And yet you wear this to the game.
Speaking of the Blackhawks ...
"RUN TO THE FAIL! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIIVES!"
(THAN ... er, thanks to Mike L. for the image.)
Puck Buddy Damon S. sent this over a few weeks back and it deserves its moment. From Damon:
Pass or Fail: the blessed union of two loves, alcohol and Milan Michalek?
After a horrendous post-season, Milan is likely considering a permanent name change, anyhow.
We'd give this one a Fail for now, unless of course Michalek gets a DUI at some point down the line. Then we'd reconsider.
And finally ...
Taken at Game 4 in Pittsburgh last night. This Marian Hossa protest jersey is actually a bit more elaborate than this photo indicates, as it had a Red Wings crest on the front with the words "Not This Year," as well as "I Got Your Cup Right Here" with an arrow pointing to an athletic supporter strapped around the dude's pants.
The Hosebag Protest Jersey is a tough call, and we'll leave it up to you to approve its merits. Because honestly, we can't take our eyes off the fact that Mike Babcock is apparently standing next to him at Penguins warm-ups. The hell?