Puck Daddy reader comment awards: From Lebowski to Lemieux

What the heck do you ladies and gents want to be called?

Books suggested "Puck Daddy's little bastards" in the Turkey Day thread. RoShaCla liked "Clever Bastards." Wrap Around Curl said "Rebel Rousers," because "isn't that what we do with our harrumphing and such?" Ah, well, keeping noodling it through. We'll figure something out.

Once again, we're handing out some hardware on the first and the fifteenth of every month for some comments that strike our fancy or tickle out funny bones. If you see one of yours, drop us a line and say hey. If you don't, then obviously you either need more Big Lebowski references in your repertoire or your Claude Lemieux mockery skills have dulled. Thanks to everyone who reads and participates. The envelopes, please!

The Comedy Pyramid Award: Given to the Puck Daddy thread that took on a life of its own, producing hilarity throughout the comments by all who participated.

Video: In which we learn about Patrick Sharp's 'Lebowski' fetish

The Gary Bettman Super Criminal Award: Given to the poster who assigns attributes or blame to the NHL commissioner that one would typically associate with members of, say, the Legion of Doom. The one without Mikael Renberg.

Turkey Day celebration: What we're thankful for in hockey

Posted by danny l Thu Nov 27, 2008 7:22 pm EST  

Thankful for....

The fact that Gary Bettman has not perfected cryogenic science or found the fountain of youth, guarenteeing one day he will pass on and we might get to see hockey once more.

The Oh-Dear-God-You-Went-There Award: To the poster who crosses all boundaries of good taste.

Giant plush whale hockey mascots prefer blondes

Posted by Justin T Wed Nov 26

I thought the TMZ headline was going to be "Anne Heche Gives Head To Orca."

The Michael Madsen Sucking on a Hotdog Award: Given to the poster who best insults the preposterous Puck Daddy editor's headshot on the sidebar.

Maxim Afinogenov: A perfect KHL player, if there still is a KHL

Posted by zzzzslepper Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:16 pm EST

Oh bout da Cigie looks more like a skin tip flute!

No man would want a picture of a big one in his mouth like that! plus the dark old man pornOtheature glasses really screams glory hole pro.

BYE BYE! Swiswysy

The Tom Benjamin Award: Named for blogger Tom Benjamin, one of the few writers who elevates hockey issue discussions to levels of intellectual importance while opening the minds of readers. It is given to the reader who ... does that.

NHL vs. NBA: Hoops fans meekly strike back at hockey's surge

Posted by John Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:46 pm EST

A few things that the basketball blogger fails to mention:

-The revenue dollars provided through national deals with CBC/SRC and TSN/RDS are staggering (not to mention ratings). The Raptors are like the homeless ugly wingman you drag along with you to a bar, and provide almost nothing in terms of rights fees/revenue, despite playing in one of the five largest media markets in North America.

-Versus has increased their market penetration every year (but please have this person keep carrying water for ESPN).

-ESPN has been heavily criticized (by their own ombudsman) for, in effect, deliberately ignoring the NHL in terms of highlights; a disgrace to sports journalism.

-Versus' ratings have gone up every year, and are now on par with what ESPN was getting despite significantly less penetration.

-For the first Stanley Cup Final featuring two American teams since 2003, NBC had outstanding ratings (with Calgary, Edmonton, and Ottawa in the three finals prior...it was a drag on US ratings). If a big-market team like NYR or Chicago gets in the Final this year, the ratings will similarly spike upward.

-With a new team in a new market (Seattle relocated to Oklahoma), this should be a net win for the NBA, but doesn't seem to be.

-NBC and the NHL are both doing well with their current deal.

The Fantasy Insanity Award: Given to the poster who best exhibits the depraved obsession of fantasy hockey.

Video: Canucks fans clench collective sphincter for Luongo

Posted by J D Sun Nov 23, 2008 1:10 am EST

The guy picked up Sanford...thats nothin. Luongo's owner in my league had picked up Sanford and two guys had posted messages cussing out said owner about the his speed in doing so.....BEFORE LUONGO WAS EVEN HELPED OFF THE ICE!!!!! THAT, folks, is fantasy hockey dedication.

The Claude Lemieux Appreciation Society Award: Given to the poster that best honors the former Conn Smythe winner and eternal pain in the ass.

Puck Headlines: Debating Claude Lemieux's NHL comeback

Posted by carl_vs_mastershake Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:39 pm EST

Claude Lemieux left the China Sharks for the Worcester Sharks once he learned China doesn't have a year of the turtle.

The Mites on Ice Award: For crude humor that gets us through an uncomfortable youth hockey story.

Caution: Driving the Zamboni can cost you three fingers

Posted by Ryan P. Tue Nov 25, 2008

What a sad story. This kid is going to miss out on so many things. Peace signs. Devil horns. Flipping cabbies the bird. He'll never see a girls expression when the 'shocker' is applied.

The Ryan O'Byrne'd Award: Given to the poster who best mocks the much-maligned Montreal Canadiens defenseman.

Video: Montreal's O'Byrne scores into own net, ties game

Posted by Jon A Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:42 am EST

Hossa, Iginla, and Zetterberg just commissioned a Japanese hacker to write an All-Star Game auto-vote program for O'Byrne. Easy way to get credit for goals that you stood by and watched.

The Goalie Conservation/Bear Hunting Society Medal of Valor: Given to the poster who best explains why goalies should be protected while at the same time advocating the hunting and slaughtering of wildlife.

Time for more penalties, contact against goalies?

Posted by gcat Sun Nov 23, 2008 7:07 pm EST

Goalies should NOT be fair game outside their crease. Once you make them fair game for playing the puck, all sorts of other rules have to be made to protect them. Say a goalie just stopped a breakaway, where the opposing team had a trailer on the first shot. The goalie is out of his crease, having cut down the angle on the shooter. He's going to cover the puck. The trailing player sees his attempt to cover and decides to run him, full force, as he's now fair game. Extreme example, but it could happen.

The point is that if you make a goalie fair game, you need to remove the instigator rule. There are too many players out there who will take advantage of any contact you let them have with the goalie. Hell, Ruutuuuuuu got away with a clear interference call against the Rangers, but Orr couldn't pay him back in any respect. The Code is dead people.

Oh, and as a goalie, being blindsided into the boards hurts. Unless you're Tim Thomas. Then you take your bow and hunt the guy who ran you, just like a bear. He hunts bears you know, making the world safer for everyone. What and ALLSTAR.

The Bubba Banjo Award: One of the breakout stars of the Puck Daddy comment threads is Bubba Banjo, whose joyous celebrations of scantily clad women and cynical thoughts are sometimes punctuated with the term "Wyshynski, You Stink!" This award is given to the best bit of wit and wisdom we've seen from the man with the skunk avatar. (These are selections from his anti-Quebec post.)

Puck Headlines: Calling for an All-Star Game boycott

Posted by BubbaBanjo Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:40 pm

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dont make fun of Quebec.......well then.

Q: Why don't the Québécois Barbeque?

A: The snails keep slipping between the grills.

Q: Why do the Québécois like smelly cheeses?

A: Well, in a room full of Quebec people, you can't really smell the cheese.

Q. How do you separate the men from the boys in Quebec?

A. With a crowbar.

Q. Do you know why so many English Immigrated to Canada?

A. To get as far away from the French as possible.

Q. Why did the Québécois man sell his water skis?

A. He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.

Broadway producers are saying that because of the war, musicals are suffering from weak ticket sales. Not only that, over at 'Les Miserables,' the Québécois are refusing to take part in the revolution

Happy Thanksgiving ya'll!!!

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