Look, we all know the Stanley Cup is the Holy Grail of sporting championship trophies. It makes Wimbledon's look like a serving platter at a pretentious steak house chain. It makes the World Cup hardware look like scarp metal. And this NFL thing on the right? Makes a great paperweight, doesn't it?
No, we all know hockey is special. And those who dare enter the comments on Puck Daddy articles are the epitome of "special." Lately, we've even seen some feuds developing between readers, which we naturally encourage as long as the rules of decorum and Fight Club are well-respected. We're a big family here; like the Sutters, even if most of us are Rich instead of Brent.
For the uninitiated, we hand out some hardware on the first and the fifteenth of every month for comments that strike our fancy or tickle out funny bones. If you see one of yours honored (or honoured) here, drop us a line and say hey.
If you don't, then obviously you either need a dirtier mind or better one-liners about suspensions and Patrick Kane's hair. Thanks to everyone who reads and participates. The envelopes, please!
The 'Malkin To The Kings' Hockey Insider Award: Given to the best piece of investigative reporting done by a Puck Daddy commenter.
18. Posted by Kp D Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:02 pm EST
What everyone failed to witness was Malkin PI$$ING in the Gaterade bottle before pumping Alexander the Great 2's mouth full of warm Russian urine... Mogilny: the real Alexander the Great !!!
The Sidney Crosby Bashing Silver Gavel of Triumph: Given to the poster with the best shot, cheap or otherwise, taken at the expense of the Penguins captain. Upon hearing that Brendan Shanahan kept in shape by training with a figure skater, this winner makes the best Sidney Crosby/Tonya Harding comparison.
6. Posted by Sobu Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:18 pm EST
Tanya Harding is more of Crosby's type. First Crying about an untied shoelace than playing dirty when someone else gets the better of her. Don't forget the ball-cupping on video either.
The Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy Medal: Given to the commenter who best insults the UMass-Lowell hockey team's Star Wars Night and the entire costuming community.
15. Posted by The Great One Fri Jan 23, 2009 5:25 pm EST
That chick storm trooper would be hot if she didn't have that skanky tattoo...and if she wasn't dressed as a storm trooper.
The "I Heart Danielle" Award: Given to the commenter who has really, truly had enough of our "relentless" bashing of Danny Briere of the Flyers.
Posted by astcter Wed Jan 28, 2009 10:56 am EST
OK Wyshynski that's it. Regardless of your glorious prose, word-crafting, and picture-cropping, your unrelenting Briere assault is now reaching Israel/Palestine smack-talk. I respect that you are one of 2 devils fans in existence, I do, but Mr. Briere will score at a point-per-game clip while simoultaneously making sweet, sweet love to Martin Brodeur's sister-in-law when he (finally) returns from injury. Just because he looks like a prepubescent boy doesn't mean he's not a baller!
The Leonidas Statue of Virility: Given to the commenter who offers a good take on the Michigan State/Michigan attack that left two players suspended.
21. Posted by gbhockey11 Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:53 am EST
yeah, not sure Conboy deserved as much as he got, but in the same token, what if he broke the kids neck? Anybody think Bertuzzi would have been treated so harshly if the guy had just gotten up? In no way shape or form am I defending his actions in fact I think he got what he deserved. It's just for some reason hockey usually punishes on the extent of the injuries instead of the actions the player(s) take. And a clothes-line from behind just a few feet off the boards is something that is very dangerous and have no problem with how MSU disciplined them. My question is why the coach is getting off with no suspension or fines? I mean 2 goals with a minute to play isn't common but isn't unheard of. Why would he stick his goons out on the ice except to have them hurt someone?
The Reality Bites Award: Given to the commenter who best combines a joke about Maxim Lapierre's home design reality show with ... uh ... something naughty.
13. Posted by ranndino Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:48 pm EST
Will there be a penalty box to which Max can send girls for such things as a 5-minute major for an unenthusiastic bj?
The Suspensions Bite Award: Given to the commenter who best combines a joke about the quasi-suspensions of Lidstrom and Datsyuk for a game against Columbus with ... uh ... something naughty.
24. Posted by jibblescribbits Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:34 pm EST
Lidstrom and Datsyuk are like my wife. They'll give any excuse to get out of their commitment to the BJs
The Shampoo Award: Given to the poster who best mocks Patrick Kane's mop.
24. Posted by drunkswithsticks Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:45 pm EST
on what planet does kane's hair look good? it's a travesty of handzusian proportion. FAIL.
The Tom Benjamin Award: Named for blogger Tom Benjamin, one of the few writers who elevates hockey issue discussions to levels of intellectual importance while opening the minds of readers. It is given to the reader who ... does that.
19. Posted by Hamilton Tigers Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:08 pm EST
Long term deals are essentially a "Risk vs. Reward" situation that has the same implications as playing table games at a Las Vegas casino.
The Pros are:
-A team can lock-up a player, that potentially will have a stellar HOF career.
-Long-term players give a team a "face" - Steve Yzerman was the face of the Red Wings for years, and gives the team an identity for the players and fans to rally around.
-Over the long term, the players salary may be BELOW that of comparible players, as over the term of the contract, the value of comparable players may rise, while the long-term contract player is locked in.
The Cons are:
-signing a player who suddenly doesn't meet expectation - the Ottawa Senators could give us several examples, starting with Alexandre Daigle and further with Alexai Yashin (who bit Charles Wang's wallet and the Islanders). There are several issues that may be at play here, such as a player knowing that they are "locked in" and the effort is not required; or that the player had several awesome seasons that are not achievable again. To prevent this, it is possible to write in any contract performance expectations (for example, a salesperson might need to sell $$$ per year, or the contract is terminated - same can be for key stats) to allow an escape clause for the team.
-players may not be content over the long-term with a franchise as it changes. Patrick Roy became discontented with the Canadiens and jumped to the Avs, Lindros and Bobby Clarke/Philadelphia's relationship became strained - what happens if the Red Wings turn into a franchise like the Islanders?
-what if, by chance, the economy continues to tank, and the salary cap/player values continue to get lower - a team is then stuck with a huge paycheque, and may be overpaying a player.
-The player can be a total cancer on the organization - what if Dallas signed Sean Avery for a long-term contract?
I personally like the idea of long-term contracts - if gives the fans security (I can run out and buy a jersey of a player for $200 and know I should get a long use out of it for example), the face of the team is established, and kind of brings back "old school hockey" like the days of Eddie Shore when players played on the same team for most of their careers.
I like it... However, as mentioned, I think the teams need to be careful with the contracts, and allow for escape clauses for themselves. It is very easy to write in performance guarantees (within reason), and financial early-termination clauses. As well, if the salary cap goes down, they can ask for a similar percentage back.
Would I sign John Tavares for 10 years? Hell Yes!
Would I sign Tim Thomas for 10 years? No way - he hasn't proven too much yet.
The NHL should also toss some long-term contracts to CBC and ESPN while the GM's are doing it to the players....
The Michael Madsen Sucking on a Hotdog Award: Given to the poster who best insults the preposterous Puck Daddy editor or his headshot on the sidebar.
15. Posted by beer_man_beer_here Fri Jan 30, 2009 4:16 pm EST
I pooped today ... Call my story worse than this story and I will call you a liar...
6. Posted by chungsotheby Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:30 pm EST
Malkin is starting to look more and more like the Jonas Brother they conveniently hide in a cage in the attic.
The Bubba Banjo Award: One of the breakout stars of the Puck Daddy comment threads is Bubba Banjo, whose joyous celebrations of scantily clad women and cynical thoughts are sometimes punctuated with the term "Wyshynski, You Stink!" This award is given to the best bit of wit and wisdom we've seen from the man with the skunk avatar.
84. Posted by BubbaBanjo Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:46 pm EST
Oh come on.............we dont mean gay...............we mean GAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY.
There's lots of gays in the NHL and has been in the past. Stop being so sensative you pansies!!
Wyshynski pansies stink...........but the ones in the NHL will kick yer butt!