Puck Headlines: Handing out NHL hardware for all 30 teams

Here are your Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• Great stuff from our content partners at SB Nation, as the hockey bloggers name the Hart, Norris, Vezina, Calder and Selke winners for each of their teams. Duncan Keith wins both the Hart and the Norris for the Chicago Blackhawks? JP Dumont over Pekka Rinne for the Hart on the Nashville Predators? Worth a read if only to actually see visual evidence of Peter Budaj winning the Vezina Trophy in some way, shape or form. [From The Rink]

• Gary Bettman says that "the stadium/arena issues" in Las Vegas are a stumbling block for bringing a professional sports team to Sin City, but reiterated that the NHL isn't looking to "expand." We did a search for the word "relocate" in this story, and it came up "text not found." Huh. [Y! Sports]

• Your NHL.com Goal of the Year nominees (with video): Niklas Hagman against the Florida Panthers; Blake Wheeler against the St. Louis Blues; Alexander Ovechkin against the Montreal Canadiens; T.J. Oshie against the Vancouver Canucks; Johan Franzen against the Montreal Canadiens. Richard Zednik's leaping goal didn't make the ... uh, wasn't a finalist. [NHL.com]

• In the second half of his epic interview, Steve Lepore gets Jack Edwards to explain is maniacal cackle at the expense of Philadelphia Flyers fans, the failings of the NHL on HDNET and how Boston Bruins fans remind him of the movie "Good Will Hunting"; beyond, you know, those (ahem) charming accents. [Puck The Media]

• Strange story: "Peter Stastny turned in his membership in the Hall of Fame of the Slovak Ice-hockey Association on Monday over a long-lasting dispute with Association head Juraj Siroky." [TASR, H/T to Marian]

• Married couples who play rec league hockey against each other. If there ever was a better reason not to keep leaving the toilet seat up ... [Post Bulletin]

• Attention New York Islanders fans: Christmas morning has been moved up to April 14. Now it's just a matter of finding Tavares or a lump of coal in your stocking. [NHL]

Bill Guerin on his desire to leave the Islanders for the Pittsburgh Penguins. "The team was trying to get younger and I'm getting older." Yet another argument for why the Islanders should draft defenseman Benjamin Button from Moose Jaw. [NHL.com]

• Interesting storylines for Washington Capitals fans to follow in the last week of the season, including whether three Southeast Division teams can make the playoff cut for the first time and whether or not Caps fans should be rooting for an injured, broken Montreal Canadiens team for a first-round matchup. [On Frozen Blog]

• The Pittsburgh Penguins quickly sell out their first two home games of the playoffs. [Penguins]

• Some media critique from The Third Man In: "I have a lot of respect and admiration for TSN's hockey coverage, but it's hard to take this article too seriously when, in the second paragraph, they cite a defenseman who the Hawks let go nine months ago as a current Hawks' prospect." [TMI]

• Huzzah! The Nashville Predators average over 14,000 in paid attendance for the season, and could get more than $10 million in NHL revenue sharing for hitting the mark. Now their owners can pay themselves back for buying up those extra seats. Congratulations. [The Tennessean]

• Don't even pretend like you wouldn't drop $500 for this Rob Blake Los Angeles Kings third jersey, featuring that spooky image on the front that looks like Joaquin Phoenix fell through the ice on a frozen lake while wearing a Burger King crown. [eBay]

• Hey, remember when Roberto Luongo was being touted by the Vancouver media as the odd-on favorite to win the Vezina and the man to lead the Canucks to playoff glory? Good, because now he's the root cause of all the team's problems: "Luongo is being roasted for not committing to the Canucks past the end of his contract in 2010 and getting too big for his hockey britches for taking the captaincy." Too big for his hockey britches, eh? And here we were admiring the cut of that young lad's jib. [Calgary Herald]

• This collection of hockey's "greatest pranksters" is OK, but we're complete suckers for a Taro Tsujimoto reference. [Slam!]

• Nineteen-year-old Colton Gillies talks about getting some playoff race experience with the Minnesota Wild. [Star Tribune]

• Former Montreal Canadiens captain and GM Serge Savard would like to help purchase the team if it's on the market. [Gazette]

• The Ottawa Sun reports that Lindy Ruff of the Buffalo Sabres and Barry Trotz of the Nashville Predators are leading contenders to coach Team Canada at worlds in Switzerland. So which one of these dudes is Ron Wilson going to beat for the gold? [Sporting News]

• What's it called when everybody already assumes something has occurred before it actually does occur in a formal way? Because Jim Dowd announced his retirement today. [Fire & Ice]

• Finally, sometimes you just need to settle in and watch a chubby kid rocking the [expletive deleted] out at a Phoenix Coyotes game. "Turn it down you say? Well all I got to say to you is time again I say 'NO! No! No, No, No, No, No!'"

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