“The Bounty Hunter” is currently tanking at the box office, but if you think Jennifer Aniston is done starring in tepid romantic comedies, you would be wrong. She’s already finished filming “The Switch,” a romantic comedy about artificial insemination, which is due to come out after ANOTHER artificial insemination romantic comedy (or ArtSemRomCom, in industry parlance) called “The Backup Plan,” comes out. The latter film is being billed as a comeback vehicle for Jennifer Lopez’s acting career. I have seen the ads. I am not encouraged.
Here’s the thing about romantic comedies: If you’re an actress, you only get a finite number of them before audiences finally wear down and never want to see you in one again. Ask Kate Hudson, who seemed invulnerable to this rule before unleashing “Bride Wars” upon the world. Any actress who has made more than, say, four romantic comedies has essentially made the same movie four times over. That’s the wearout point. That’s when I believe America will finally hold up its hand and say, “Stop. No more. YOU HAVE MET CUTE FOR THE LAST TIME.” Here now are five actresses who, while talented, have sailed past that point and desperately need to recalibrate where their careers are headed:
1. Jennifer Aniston. Aniston has already starred in ten romantic comedies. TEN! That’s more than twice the amount of cute stammering this nation needs out of her. This is why paparazzi stalk her from coast to coast, because her actual life has more variation than her films.
2. Jennifer Lopez. “The Backup Plan” is Lopez’ seventh romantic comedy, a ridiculous number for someone whose very best performance came in “Out Of Sight,” a movie that makes the very idea of romantic comedy look pointless and stupid. One of her next projects is a remake of “Overboard.” “Overboard”! Is she crazy? Can someone please give this poor woman a fake badge again?
3. Kate Hudson. This serial offender has starred in at least seven romantic comedies, and seems to star in nothing but. While that was a good move for a while (Hudson’s romcoms have made good money), her last two (“My Best Friend’s Girl” and “Bride Wars”) have tanked, sending her a clear signal that it’s time to hop off the gravy train. Hudson got good notices for her work in “Nine,” and I agree with them judging by the photos of her in knee high boots. More like that, missy.
4. Katherine Heigl. She’s only done three romcoms, but you know darn well that fourth is coming somewhere down the pike. DON’T DO IT, LADY. THREE WAS PLENTY FOR YOU.
5. Sandra Bullock. The Oscar winner has ten romcoms on her resume and would appear impervious to this rule. But here’s my thing: Bullock is already filthy rich and an Oscar winner. So why keep making romcoms? What’s the point? Why not go out on top with “The Proposal” and be done with it? Besides, the only movie I want to see her in next is “Jesse James Gets His Junk Punched”.