How does Coach Calhoun get recruits to come to UConn? He just tells them he's dying.
Sound ridiculous? That's because it is.
Satirical news network, The Onion, has put Coach Calhoun squarely in it' comedically layered sights.
Some of his "infractions" include making improper phone calls asking players to "do one last favor for a dying old man," and even having assistant coach George Blaney hover over him on the sidelines dressed as the spectre of death.
After all, the serious allegations surrounding the UConn program, it's fun to spend a few minutes laughing at the fake ones.