Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and drink all the syrup out of your Sno Cone, leaving yourself with a pile of flavorless ice chips. I always throw away my Sno Cone after that happens. LET’S GO!
HOT IN CLEVELAND – 10:00PM (TV Land) Everyone’s favorite saucy old lady Betty White headlines this brand new sitcom on TV Land (!) about a group of women who decide to live in Cleveland after they realize they’re more desirable to Cleveland men than to men in the original habitat. Also joining the cast are Wendie Malick (“Dream On”), Jane Leeves (“Frasier”), and Valerie Bertinelli. Quite a seasoned cast. But the real attraction here, of course, is White. Expect her to say lots of naughty things polite old ladies really shouldn’t say. ANTICIPATION: DIRTY LADIES!
TOP CHEF DC – 10:00PM (Bravo – An NBC/Universal network) It’s the much-anticipated premiere of the seventh season of the Bravo flagship show. It’ll be awfully hard to top the sixth season, which featured the best assemblage of talent I think the show ever had. This season is taking place in the culinary mecca that is… Washington DC? Really? Well, okie dokie. If you say so. Also on hand are Tom Collicchio, Padma Lackofeating, Gail Simmons and new judge Eric Ripert. Ripert is no joke. Arguably the most acclaimed French chef in the United States, Ripert has appeared on the show before and proven himself unreasonably likable and direct. He’ll be a welcome addition to your television set this summer, I assure you. Also, the ladies think he’s FOXY! I’ll let you be the judge of that. ANTICIPATION: HARISSA BROTH!
WORK OF ART – 10:00PM (Bravo – An NBC/Universal network) I watched the season premiere of this show and I can say that it’s absolutely worth your time if you’re a fan of the Top Chef and Runway genre of reality TV. It has the EXACT same format as “Runway.” You’ll barely notice the difference. And the judge from New York Magazine is great. Also, the contestants are all, by and large, INSANE. It takes a special kind of nutjob to paint clowns on easels, and that’s what we’re dealing with here. The old lady who uses a female anatomy term in all her art is particularly terrifying. Should be fun. ANTICIPATION: WARHOLICS!
TV’S GREATEST SURPRISES: A PALEY CENTER FOR MEDIA SPECIAL – 8:00PM (CBS) No, I have no idea what the Paley Center For Media is or what it does. I assume its chief mission is to waste lots and lots of money. Anyway, Jeff Probst guides you tonight through 30 of the most surprising moments in prime time TV history. A throwaway special like this airing in the summer is not one of those surprises. ANTICIPATION: SURPRISE! ELLEN IS GAY!
THERE WILL BE BLOOD – 7:00PM (FX) And suddenly, your appetite for bowling is greatly diminished. ANTICIPATION: EVIL!