In an interview with "CBS Sunday Morning," airing two days before the premiere of her YouTube documentary "Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil," the 28-year-old pop star details what was running through her mind during that Grammys performance, during which she sang her ballad "Anyone."
"I didn't know if I'd ever step foot on a stage again," she said. "When I woke up in the hospital, I was like, 'I don't know the full extent of the damage that's been done.' I hadn't tried singing yet."
In July 2018, the "Sorry Not Sorry" singer was hospitalized after overdosing on drugs at her Hollywood Hills home months after relapsing. Lovato, who had previously battled substance addiction, spent almost two weeks in a hospital before undergoing treatment at a rehab center and sober living facility.
In her upcoming YouTube documentary, Lovato reveals that following her overdose, she suffered three strokes and a heart attack and doctors told her she would have had had about five to 10 minutes to live had no one called 911.
"If no one had found me, then I wouldn't be here," she said on "CBS Sunday Morning." "I'm grateful that I'm sitting here today, yeah.
"For the first time in my life, [I] had to essentially die to wake up."
Nowadays, Lovato is continuing her recovery in a way that works best for her. In the documentary, she reveals that she's not abstaining from all substances, but instead smokes weed – legal in California, where she lives – and drinks alcohol "in moderation."
"I think that the term that I best identify with is 'California Sober,'" Lovato said. "I really don't feel comfortable explaining the perimeters of my recovery with people because I don't want anyone to look at my perimeters of safety and think that's what works for them because it might not.
"I am cautious to say that, just like I feel the complete abstinent method isn't like a one-size-fits-all solution for everybody. I don't think that this journey of moderation is a one-size-fits-all solution for everybody, too."
Part 1 of the four-part documentary "Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil," directed by Michael D. Ratner, will premiere on YouTube on Tuesday.